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My adaptation of the old English rhyme:

 

Peter Peter pumpkin eater,

Had a wife and couldn’t keep her.

    He put her in a pumpkin shell

    And there he kept her very well.

                      ------------------

 

Peter, Peter pumpkin eater

Had a wife but couldn’t keep her.

    He kept her locked up out of sight -

    Such was his jealousy and spite.

 

But was she happy?  No, not she!

She only wanted to be free.

    The thought of living in a cage

    Caused her to fly into a rage.

 

'Peter Peter, let me out!'

Came her short but fearsome shout.

     'My father’s coming with his gun

     And then you’ll be the sorry one.'

 

But Peter wouldn’t change his mind

And Father came and there did find

     His precious daughter under lock

     Which gave poor Dad an awful shock. 

 

Then, finding Peter, lurking there,

He grabbed this monster by the hair

   And dispatched him with great speed,

    With no kind thoughts and little heed -

 

Far out in space.   He’ll not return,

And such a lesson he will learn.

     He’ll end his days alone on Mars

     With just the company of stars.

 

His lovely wife?  Yes, free once more,

Went home to family she adored

      And marriage?  'Never more,' she said.

     'I’ll stay at home with Dad instead.'

 

Love comes with freedom, not a cage,

And bondage leads, of course, to rage.

      And Peter, in his lonely life,

      Will never find another wife.

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