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JOSIE'S POEMS
Funny Poems for Children
By Josie Whitehead
I'LL NEVER
BE A LAUREATE
By Josie Whitehead
I’ll never be a laureate:
Well I'd have to meet the King,
And, whilst he knows that I write poems,
Don't tell him I can't sing!
I’ll never be a laureate:
Well who wants poems that rhyme?
Then laureates have lots to do
And I have little time.
I’ll never be a laureate:
I’m rather shy, you see,
And who wants Granny laureates?
No - not the job for me!
I’ll never be a laureate:
I’ve wrinkles on my face
And, having failed the *eleven plus,
I quickly learned my place.
I’ll never be a laureate:
My hair has turned quite white,
Though some old grans write poetry
That brings the kids delight!
I’ll never be a laureate:
My teeth are falling out
And laureates are bright and slim
Whilst I am dim and stout.
(Ooh - It's not quite true but it rhymes)
I’ll never be a laureate:
My poems are much too clear -
For: ‘Analyse this *obscure verse’
Are words that students fear.
Well, who wants to be a laureate?
Oh, after I have died
Perhaps you'll write my epitaph:
‘Her words went far and wide.’
Copyright on all my poems
* obscure: not clearly understood. Meant to confuse or puzzle the reader.
When I was 11 years of age, we all took the '11 plus examination' which determined whether you went to Grammar School or not. I failed and went to a secondary modern school where it was made quite clear to us that we were failures for life. We were told we had a low IQ. Writing poetry? No, no, no - although I did write one poem aged 11 and it was published in our school magazine. (See here). It has since been published and was chosen by teachers and children in many schools. We were never taught about rhyme or metre, but I used to love reading the poems of the popular children's poets and if you want to write poetry, do this too. I hope this examination NEVER comes back. I was told at 11 years of age that I could not become a teacher because I had a low IQ. hmmm I taught all my life and loved every minute. I still am giving young people something of myself to help them with English and for them to enjoy too and I'm 83 now. Josie