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Bruises, cuts and septic wounds,

     Swollen glands, dog bites;

Blisters, bunions, scalds and boils -

     And bruises after fights.

 

Well, Granny Sellars’ Magic Salve

     Is just the thing you need.

Squeeze from the tube and rub it on

     And do this with some speed.

 

Granny Sellars’ Magic Salve

     Is good for thinning hair.

It’s also good for wrinkly skin

     But use it with some care.

 

One woman that I heard about

      Rubbed salve upon her chest.

‘And did it cure her chesty cough?’

      ‘Well she was not impressed!’

 

When next day she began to dress,

      She had a huge surprise,

And from her bathroom, loud and clear

      Came very anguished cries.

 

Her chest was coated thick with hair

     But it hadn’t stopped at that,

For hair was spreading thick and fast

      And covered all her back.

 

So when you use this Magic Salve

     Just take a little care.

You could look like a monkey does

     With a body full of hair.

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