I've a bundle of limericks here,

But I’ll make it abundantly clear:

           If you copy I’ll know

          And my fury I’ll show

And such anger is something to fear:

 

There once was a man called Bill Sears

Whose wax was removed from his ears.

           There was only one snag -

           His wife’s such a nag,

And her voice, to him, now is quite clear.

     

A pretty young woman from Dover

Took a walk with her poodle called Rover,

          But just in a jiff,

          From high on the cliff,

The wind blew her poor doggy over.

 

There once was a woman called Nancy

Who said: 'There is something I fancy:

         Some Yorkshire curd tart,

         Though 'tis bad for my heart,

And I mustn't perturb my fiancée.'

 

There once was a boy from the Gower

Whose poem he wrote in an hour.

          I thought this seemed fine,

          Till I saw it was mine,

And his prize?  My most threatening glower!

 

A boy, who was called Jimmy Blare,

Said one day that it didn’t seem fair:

        'The limericks I write

         Never seem to delight,

And they leave me quite full of despair.'

 

The Blarney Stone’s famous, you know.

If you lack skill with words you should go:

           For, a kiss on that stone,

           As, to all, is well-known,

And your eloquence quickly will grow.

 

White Wells, high upon Ilkley Moor,

Has a bath that will cure you for sure.

           Take a dip in their pool,

           That is icily cool,

And you’ll never return any more.

 

Limericks are easy to write.

Is your pen and your paper in sight?

        So, with no time to waste,

        Start your writing with haste

And produce one that's sure to be right.

 

Copyright on all my poems

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